Rattus Norvegicus

The norway rat, hanover rat, and common rat are just a few of the names that identify rattus norvegicus. Though now they are to some a seemingly ever-present plague to mankind, there was a time when this was not so. Indeed, were it not for European colonialism two of the continents on our planet could very well be entirely free of this species. Alas, the America’s only shelter from this beast is and always shall be Alberta, and Alberta stands alone. The only other place on this planet free from this well-ordered army of rodentia, is also nearly completely devoid of human life. Our last remaining hope may be to escape the surly bonds of our planet and voyage to the great beyond, but I fear as before they will be close behind.

For much of our history, their origins were a mystery. Their latin name invokes the country of Norway but we now understand them to have invaded Europe from central Asia. Another of their names, the hanover rat was thrust upon them by 18th century Englishmen unhappy with the management of their country by the House of Hanover. The stigma invoked by rattus norvegicus is not even enough for one species to contain, with pigeons commonly being referred to as “rats with wings.” It’s clear that the emotion most commonly associated with rats is disgust for what is perceived to be nothing more than a dirty rotten pest.

Escribitionists

The origin of blogging is far more vague than the origins of the confusingly named rattus norvegicus. My precise research on this topic has revealed that the first blog appeared sometime after Tim Berners-Lee created the World Wide Web in 1989, but before the first vlogbrothers video was posted on January 1st, 2007. Much like rattus norvegicus, this format snuck its way into our thoughts, and spread across the web like an invasive species.

I’m sure it started innocently enough, family websites to keep our loved-ones appraised of our goings-on in the world not too different from a digital Christmas card. But eventually someone somewhere was the first person to take what should have stayed an inside thought, and not only speak it aloud, but also upload it into our collective digital consciousness to achieve a form of immortality the likes of which ancient ruler’s of earth’s past could only imagine. But this nameless faceless individual was not the greater fool, that would be the poor soul who replied. Eventually these platforms morphed into the social media we know and despise today, and the thoughts once intended only for the interior of someone’s skull now spread uncontrolled.

Epidemic

Now you can plainly see, it is the nature of any pest and disease to multiply. I have been infected with the preposterous idea that my thoughts are worthy of your attention, and so I must now contribute to this scourge of the internet myself. I am the SEO spam clogging up your google searches. I am the 15 paragraphs of preamble before the sub-par recipe for jambalaya. And I am the answer to a redditor’s question with 5,000 upvotes that was deleted in protest of u/spez.

Or, perhaps it’s a matter of perspective. Rattus norvegicus is after all, not that dirty. They’re obsessive groomers and thus very clean. Though they may have been named for the House of Hanover, they were not responsible for the perceived mismanagement of England in the 18th century. And while we’re at it, are they truly responsible for the invasiveness of their species into our homes and lands far from their origins? Or is this the fault of the people who did not take the proper precautions to limit their spread? They are after all only doing what animals do, living.

Peace

Perhaps, with proper guardrails, I can try to do the same out here on this foreign land of the internet far from my home on Laurentia. Perhaps www.midwesternrodent.com can become a bastion of technology and rodent knowledge. Offering you tips, tricks, and disturbing anecdotes on both topics as my personal experience marches forward. Perhaps this one singular blog hosted on github pages can be the blog that finally gets it right.

As I look back on what I have created so far in these 7 previous paragraphs, I’m filled with peace. Peace, because I realize that I will never be able to live up to those unrealistic expectations. Man, that is a weight off my shoulders.

Anyway, welcome to my blog. I’m gonna post rodent facts, homelab stuff, and whatever suits my fancy. At least it’s not a podcast.